Only one more night in our own beds...

...for a long while! I shouldn't probably even be posting, but needed to take a breather from cleaning and packing :)  We recently moved to the South, so I know it is crucial to have the house as spotless as possible before going on a long trip: new, old, brick, or wood, you always have to be alert for the insects that thrive in this climate, and no way am I leaving a "happy place" for them! Thankfully we have never had any problems in this home, but I am not taking any risks! :)
The last few days have been fun, crazy and I can't seem to keep my mind functioning at all.  I walk somewhere, and wonder why? I tell, Daniel "Oh yes, we packed that .... I think...but I have no idea where" 
I have tried to minimize our luggage. For our family of 4 becoming 6 for 21 days we are down to two medium suitcases around 35lbs each, two small to medium dufflebags, two very small to small backpacks and my oldest's beloved "Trunki"  (a tiny Melissa and Doug child's travel case that doubles as a ride on toy) 
It doesn't sound terrible, but I am still trying to pare down...the train trip from Beijing to Zhengzhou is entirely on our own and I know as much as I need those two suitcases, I am probably going to hate them! :)  I am no fan of lots of luggage, especially when I know we will be pushing through large crowds going up and down staircases and having to jam them in overhead luggage racks and then repeat. So, I am going to try to attack the luggage one more time.
Yesterday, the boys and I had the fun of setting up "beds" for the two newest little ones.  Yes, we plan to have them sleep in our room as we want to be quickly available for comfort and security, so that is two pack and plays we have crammed in there, plus a chair for mommy or daddy to sit in at 2AM... real furniture just wasn't going to fit!

We know that in the care home where our little Jian has been living a Nanny has always stayed in the sleeping room with all the children, and it appears that our little Xiu has shared a common room with his foster family in their village.  To us, even though they are two years old, they are our "new babies" and like "new babies" we want them to learn that they can trust their parents, that their parents are there for them and ready to comfort them.  My mother always said, "when you comfort your child and hurry to care for them, you are teaching them what God our father is like--He is tender and kind to us in our weakness, and loving."

Like as a father pitieth [his] children, [so] the LORD pitieth them that fear him.--Ps 103:13

As we head out on this life-changing journey, I am so thankful for our tender, kind, loving Father!  He knows we cannot do this on our own, He knows and understands our fears, and cares about our griefs and joys.  "I have not given you the spirit of fear," He says, "but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind"
We are so grateful to all those who have prayed for us, taught us and given to help us be here today.  You are all loved.  We feel your support and thank God for you.  We are so grateful for the amazing, very human, very real adoptive families we have been privileged to meet (some only online), thank you for your encouragement and all you have taught us.  It is hard to comprehend that in less than a week, our so very beloved Xiu and Jian will become part of our family forever.

Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father!

There is no shadow of turning with Thee!

Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not!

As Thou has been, Thou forever wilt be.

You're rich in love, and You're slow to anger
Your name is great, and Your heart is kind
For all Your goodness I will keep on singing
Ten thousand reasons for my heart to find

[Chorus]
Bless the Lord, O my soul
O my soul
Worship His holy name
Sing like never before
O my soul
I'll worship Your holy name

And on that day when my strength is failing
The end draws near and my time has come
Still my soul will sing Your praise unending
Ten thousand years and then forevermore

[Chorus x2]
Bless the Lord, O my soul
O my soul
Worship His holy name
Sing like never before
O my soul
I'll worship Your holy name

M. Redman

Tentative Timeline for China :)

June 1--Leave for Atlanta
June 2--Fly from ATL to INC (Seoul, South Korea)

June 3--Arrive in Beijing (we "lose a day" going and "gain one" returning, due to the 12 hour time difference :)

June 4-- Likely do a little touring to help the little guys reset their body clocks

June 5--Take the High speed train from Beijing to Zhengzhou

AND THEN....GET READY FOR IT!!!

JUNE 6--GOTCHA DAY!!!! (BOTH BOYS!)

June 7--Adoption Registration Day, try to get Jian's passport--This is the day the adoption becomes official!
June 8--Travel to Nanyang, Henan to get Xiu's passport

June 17--Consulate appointment in Guangzhou, Guangdong

June 18--US Visa's

June 20--Leave Guangzhou, fly to Seoul and then to Atlanta

June 21--HOME AGAIN, GOD WILLING :)

Now, I need to get back to packing, pronto, pronto!!

TA!

For those of you on Facebook, you know our good news already! We got our TA on Wednesday...a record setting wait of 4 weeks and 1 day by our count, but technically we found out 4 weeks and 2 days...
The last week has been difficult.  Our agency, CCAI, told us that they had never had a family go past 4 weeks, and in fact we later found out that apparently no one has ever gotten past 27 days.  For non-adopters, this may sound like no big deal. But when you know there have been over 10,000 adoptions with this agency before you, same government, same system, same rules, and the average wait for TA is normallyl 10-14 days the anguish starts to set in.  "Are we losing the adoption? Has something happened here at the very, very end?" 
I made myself wait past 4 weeks and finally called our agency, trying not to cry.  "Do any families not ever get the TA? Do adoptions fall through at this point? Do we need to refile paperwork?"  The rep was super kind.  She told me that we had set a record for waiting and they were very sorry but it appeared to be due to the incredible changes happening at the CCWA as they switch from paper to electronic records.  She said "I know this isn't much, but our reps in China think that there is a packet of TAs coming soon...and we hope yours in there!"  Most of all she assured me that no one doesn't get a TA.  That was so comforting.  Even if the wait was long, if there is hope of completing the adoption at the end, we can endure, but as I was losing hope it was so hard to press on.  I hung up full of hope and very encouraged.  In fact, I stopped my obsessive 2 minute refreshing of my phone's email app that I had been doing for the past 3 weeks.  I played and snuggled with my littlest who had woken early from his nap, and it wasn't till an hour or two later that I noted that there was a new email--WE HAD A TA!!! I stopped and had a cry and thanked God.  Since then we have been madly working to find flights for 6 going and 8 coming.  More about that later, we still don't have tickets...white knuckled suspense on this end.  Oh! Yes, we got our confirmed CA Thursday AM and I will post those dates as soon as we have confirmed flights, God willing!  Pray we get the flights today, please.

Itchy Travelin' Feet

Travel

The railroad track is miles away,
And the day is loud with voices speaking,
Yet there isn't a train goes by all day
But I hear its whistle shrieking.

All night there isn't a train goes by,
Though the night is still for sleep and dreaming,
But I see its cinders red on the sky,
And hear its engine steaming.

My heart is warm with friends I make,
And better friends I'll not be knowing;
Yet there isn't a train I wouldn't take,
No matter where it's going.

 

Edna St. Vincent Millay

 

I think I was born with it. Traveling Feet. If they don't get used often enough, hard enough, and far enough they start to itch. Now, I love to be home, and my husband and I are very fond of our comfy bed, routines and whatnot, but maybe that's just because we generally travel often, travel hard, and travel far.  For a few months now we have had no major, crazy, whirlwind trips, and since I have been actually laid up in bed for a couple weeks the itching has really begun... Spring is everywhere!  As I write, a gentle spring rain is falling.  It is a glistening, green evening.  Dogwoods, azaleas, iris, tulips, wisteria are all in bloom.  

We drove out for small errand this past weekend as my first "out of bed" and spring was at that perfect stage where the green is a light froth over all, but not yet the dense green maze of summer, allowing us to still peer deeply into the forest.  There are only a few fleeting days here in the south where this ethereal touch can be seen. (My sweet husband took the most meandering route he could as he understood how I have missed being out)

But, it isn't just spring or the lack of traveling that has gotten me itching..

Yesterday, I received a torn fed-ex envelope, post-marked Chicago.  

With trembling hands I completed the demolition.

There they were: All six of our visas to China. It was a beautiful sight! Thankfully, our courier had packed the passports (visas attached) into a couple ziploc bags and that must have helped keep them in the envelope so that none were lost.  Note to self: 6 passports can burst a fed-ex envelope :)

Our Article 5 was completed and picked up at 4AM on Tuesday ;) and the US Consulate promptly informed us :)

Now we are trying to wait patiently for our TA, the invitation from China for us to travel!

It is our hope that our agency will be able to get us a consulate appt for very soon thereafter, and allow us to travel quickly.  In many cases, they have allowed families to do this, and given Little Lion's urgent surgical needs, I hope they will consider it.

Still even with the impatience to go, the time seems too short to accomplish all that needs to be done. But, slowly, items are getting ticked off the list.  Two new Britax carseats sit in the livingroom, much to the hilarity and delight of D and E who find it "beyond funny" to have carseats that are not in the car! Packing has begun, puzzling over how best to pack for possibly 3 different climates: Beijing, Zhengzhou, and Guangzhou. The puzzle and fun of packing for four little boys who are close to but not quite all the same size! Today we picked up the requisite red bags and tissue and such for wrapping the presents for all and sundry.  Though as Daniel so dryly remarked,  "You know we have to come up with presents for these bags."  Definitely a very backward way of getting presents! Still, if we are in the right spot for the wrapping and Chinese red envelopes...well carpe diem! All in God's time, we will be where we need to be; one foot after the other, one task at a time.

Pass the Ketchup, please!

Our little Nanyang Prince---We are coming, soon, DV,  Sweet boy!!

Catch up, I mean!
I think it must be fairly evident that blogging is not on the top of my to do lists most days, or weeks, or months...erhem.
But, there is so much to catch up on!
First, we received our much anticipated LOAs on March 11!  Fantastic rejoicing. :-D  CCAI overnighted them to us, and though I had clinic that day, I had Kiki (our fantastic Nanny) promise to text me the split second they arrived!  When Daniel and I got home we signed them and fed-ex'd them overnight back to CCAI.

We had already sent them all our I-800 paperwork, DS 230 and related stuff, so they immediately sent it in to the US government on Mar 13.  Then began the wait for the I-800 PA (which is also called an I-797) ...and our family all got sick! It was one thing right after another: Croup, Pneumonia, Gastroenteritis, Colds, unexplained fevers, and just general ickiness.  No one was spared. In retrospect, perhaps it was beneficial for me, because I stopped caring when the I-800PA would arrive.  I just wanted to survive. One.minute.at.a.time.  "Oh, Lord, just strength for right now, right now!" On top of all the illness, my company decided to move our medical office to a new location, a large number of my staff went on maternity (congrats!) or sick leave.  Utter chaos.  We are definitely not settled even yet!
But, in God's time the I-800PA arrived, on April 1, 18 days after application.  Had I been well and counting at the time, I know I would have been worried and anxious, but as I said, I had other things to think about!
We got our NVC letters 2 days later (April 3), but because of a time differential and the consulate being closed Sat, Sun, Mon, they were not delivered to the US consulate till April 9.  In the meantime, I got very sick again, and ended up in the hospital. How grateful I am for the dear church family who immediately jumped in to help, dropping everything to watch my boys, and help with housework and meals.  I have not lived "near" family since I was 18 years old. Time and again, God has cared for me and my family by this other family, the one into which we are born by the new birth.  Even as I type this, I am recovering in bed, while a sweet teen from our church feeds my little guys lunch.  Through the monitor I hear the giggles and laughter, and I am grateful. So grateful.

 We are blessed!

Zhengzhou laughter! We love you!

We talk about flying to China everyday! Aren't we grownup?

All those acronyms!

Last fall getting the dossier organized..

I'm a doctor.

I think in acronyms. 

 For instance, if you come to me complaining of chest pain and belly pain after eating, I may write the following in my note: "*49 yo ow wf co CP  w/+RUQ abd pain, w/o LE, no DOE, no SOB, no diaphoresis, no radiation, no fh CAD. no tob, no EtOH, sh unremarkable.  PMH neg for CAD, CVD, MI (STEMI, nonSTEMI), DM, HTN, CKD. ho burning sensation on back of tongue, Exam: A&Ox3, PERRLA, EOMI, ENT-MMM; CVS-RRR, S1S2, no M/R/G; Lungs CTAB; Abd: NABS, ttp epigastric &RUQ, no r/g. CMP normal, -trop, normal CK-MB, H&H normal. Normal diff.  Will wu w/ ekg, etc but given hx atypical, strong post-prandial assoc. will eval for GERD, PUD, BE, GB dz will obtain RUQ US, trial PPI Rx (NKDA). May need further w/u with EGD, ERCP and/or  MRCP. D/W pt DDx, S&S to call, when to come in, when to call 911, pt VU & A. FU in x days."  *(any similarity to persons living or dead is purely coincidental.)

:)

Okay, I admit that note is a little over the top as I wouldn't order all those tests immediately :)  but truthfully the acronym part is often not far from reality! While my made-up note uses standard acronyms, what about some regional, speciality-specific notes?  I acknowledge, I have spent a lot of time on hospital rounds trying to decipher a CT surgeons notes (there it goes again!)

 I realized the adoption community (especially country specific communities) have whole lexicons of acronyms, and when I am talking, sometimes I forget and start talking about TAs and SFs and 797s and...you get the picture! Perhaps I have already left you in the dust sometime when you kindly asked "So how is the adoption going?" 

So here you go, some basic acronym's and a smattering of jargon :)

• PAP--Pre-adoptive parents
• AP-Adoptive parents
• HS--home study, a 20-40 pg report by a licensed social worker detailing you and your family.  Based on background checks, interviews, home inspections, financial reports, references, and every personal document that describe you!
• Dossier--Not an acronym, but a collection of many, many documents including the home study that are notarized and certified up to 4 times before they are ready for China.
• MCC--a list of medical conditions given to your adoption agency detailing the medical conditions you feel prepared to and willing to handle in a child available for adoption
• NSN--non-special needs--A child with no known long term medical problems/disease or conditions
• SN--Special needs child: This could be a child with anything from mild easily correctable problems to severe syndromes or potentially life-threatening conditions.  It also includes children who are healthy, but older (often male) and have less chance of getting adopted. SN is further divided in the China adoption community to SF and LID-only.
• WC--Waiting child--same as above.
• SF--Special Focus.  SF children are children with more severe or complicated medical needs or issues, children who have been on the "Shared list" for >60 days with no family inquiring about them, and children whose age makes them less likely to be adopted. *The shared list is a list of children available for adoption released by the CCCWA that the CCCWA has not specifically assigned to adoption agencies who are working in China.  Because of the severe needs of these children and the lower rates of adoption among them, China will accept applications to adopt these children from families at any stage in the process. However, you still have to complete all the paperwork before you can bring them home :)
• LID-only--Children with medical needs available for adoption who have been deemed to have minor, more correctable medical conditions, usually much younger/infants.  Per the CCCWA, one cannot apply to adopt such a child until all paperwork is completed
• CCCWA--China Center for Children's Welfare and Adoption, sometimes referred to as the CCCA, this is the central government agency that oversees all adoptions from China.  China and the US are both signatories of the Hague Adoption Convention, which aims to protect children from trafficking, innapropriate adoptions and other concerns.
• LOI--Letter of intent.  This is a letter you write and send to the CCCWA when you have recieved a child referral and want to pursue adopting that child.  In the case of WC/SN adoption it needs to detail their medical condition and the future plan of treatment.  It tells how you will care for the child and educate him, love him and never abandon him. In the case of SF children it is accompanied by financial statements, background info, and photos of your family.
• PA--Prior Approval--a PA is a special letter from the CCCWA stating that they will process your application in an expedited fashion for this specific child. Basically, that based on the information they received in the LOI and supporting documents they will plan on you adopting that child, and he is no longer available to any other family, provided you complete your dossier in a set period of time and all of it supports their original decision.
• I800A--A form submitted to USCIS (immigration) to determine whether you are suitable as candidate to adopt internationally from a Hague treat nation, and specifically, what country, what age range, how many children and whether the children can have special needs and if so, what severity for which your family is approved. Approval is based on your home study, background checks etc.
• I-797C--The document from USCIS that says they have approved your I-800A. It is usually the very last document you need to send your dossier to China
• DTC--Dossier to China--A moment to be celebrated
• LID--Log in date, the official date the CCCWA logged in your dossier.
• LOA--Letter of acceptance--Baby, you're ours!!! Also known as the LOC or LSC. This is the official seal of approval on your adoption...but wait...it's not done yet...
• I-800 and 1864w--Filed with the NBC (national benefits center)  this is the application to allow your specific child(ren) to immigrate to the USA, it cannot be filed until you have your LOA!
• NVC letter--National Visa Center letter, comes after your I800 is approved (also know as the I800PA, only here it means "provisionally approved")
• DS 230--what you actually file to get their visas, this is delived to the US consulate in China.
• Article 5--What the US consulate gives you when your DS 230 is delivered. It means you are good to go from the US side--your kids will become US citizens in China (if both parents travel to complete the adoption)
• TA--TRAVEL APPROVAL... your invitation from the CCCWA to come and pick up your children!

So, we are LID, and waiting and praying for LOA...



Please, Lord, please let my brothers come home soon



The "Whys" (a very brief and short version...)

Sometimes (okay, lets be honest, most of the time!) when people hear we are adopting they look at me like I am crazy...I can just see the thoughts racing through their brains: "Did I hear correctly, did the mom standing at my counter with the double stroller just say 'we are adopting two toddlers'???"  Then I get the "oh! You mean you are adopting these two!" (pointing to my stroller), I:  "oh, no, they are not home yet! we are adopting internationally, these are my two other sons!" :)  (and I go off and chortle to myself, all the while contemplating that indeed, they are right...I am probably stark raving mad...)
I'd like to give a little background to why we are adopting,  and as I'm obviously no great blogger ;) here is an excerpt from an email we sent to family

"First then, our reasons for adopting. Probably the core reason is that the Bible makes it clear that God has a special love for orphans. We do want to be passionate about the same things our Father is passionate about. Of course, the Lord is passionate about many things, but a love for children is something specifically that God had been working in our lives. We have wanted to adopt for a very long time (long before we were married). We know that we love children very much and we wanted to make a home for a child who would not otherwise have a family. When the Lord moved us to our current location, he put us with a lot of other Christians who are passionate about adoption. That brought the desire back to the surface and got us to researching it in more detail. We found out that in many ways right now is an ideal time to adopt for our family. Some of those are:

• Big Brother and Little Man are young, this will give them a chance to grow up with their adopted brothers as a natural part of the family.
• We have a tremendous number of resources to help us right now, with many families around us who have adopted and friends who are adoptees.
• In international adoption, there are lots of rules about how many children you are allowed to have when adopting, how much money you must be earning, age of parents, length of marriage, etc. We are in what may be a narrow window to meet these requirements.

But why China? We first researched foster care adoption here in the US, but due to the nature of foster care adoption, we felt it was not appropriate for us while we have small children already in the home. We then looked into domestic infant adoption, but realized that there are many loving families who are eager to adopt a healthy baby from the US, and we knew we wanted to adopt a child who had little chance of a family. So then we began researching international adoption. Conservative estimates of the need show that there are over 130 million orphans across the world (see UNICEF's report 2008). However, in many countries there are also legitimate concerns about child trafficking or unethical adoption practices. After serious research, it appears that China has both a significant need among their orphans who have medical and or special needs and the government is working hard to avoid child trafficking. In addition, we have many, many Chinese friends, which has given us a love for the Chinese and their culture. I (doctormommy) grew up among the Chinese, and consider it to be a home culture.
After settling on China, we then began to research in more detail the specific needs of the orphans there. We found out that some 90% of all prospective adoptive parents are only willing to accept a healthy baby girl. Others have opened their hearts to accept a girl with special needs, but the boys with special needs are statistically the least likely to be adopted (any country, any agency!) and are left with little hope of ever having a family. God leads each family differently, but again our goal was to seek out the children who needed help most, and we love little boys! So we pursued adopting a boy with special needs.

We should insert a note here about the adoption agency we are working with, as some of you have expressed concerns about stories you have heard about unscrupulous agencies. We researched agencies carefully as well. We found that Chinese Children Adoption International (CCAI) is consistently rated the highest among adoptive parents. The Chinese government also rates them as the number one agency working with Chinese orphans. CCAI also works hard to care for and provide opportunities for children who will never be adopted. Finally, CCAI, has the among the lowest fees of any agency (their fees are also published up front and they do not add any hidden fees later), this is because they are genuinely committed to finding families for orphans, not just skimming money from parents.

So in April of this year we began the application process. Our agreement was signed, paid for and accepted on July 10th along with a list of special needs (Medical conditions) we were willing to accept. At that point, we got started on compiling our adoption dossier (a huge collection of legal documents) and applying for our home study (we had been able to do a little of this prior to approval). The general process for special needs adoptions is the preliminary application, followed by home study and dossier, and after all of that is done, a family begins to wait for a child match. We were told that a child match generally took between six months to two years. Imagine our surprise then, when on Friday, July 27th we received a call from CCAI! They had a 15 month old child who had been up for adoption since he was a couple months old. However, we were the first family who had listed his need as one we would be able to consider. We spent the weekend researching Little Lion's  file and praying about him. Our agency would have given us more time, but we were confident that the Lord intended this precious boy for us. We called the agency on Monday, and a week after we sent in our letter of intent, We received pre-approval!
Before CCAI had called us, we had been looking at another child on their list that we thought would be a good fit for our family. After accepting Little Lion, we still couldn't get Little Monkey off our hearts. After considering and praying about him, we asked to see his file on Sept 7th. We reviewed his file very carefully and consulted with many physicians and other adoptive families. We spent another week praying about Little Monkey and seeking advice. We came to the conclusion that while we know adopting two children at once is a tremendous amount of work, and while Little Monkey's needs appear to be very extensive, we believe that he too is our son and that the Lord has called us lay down our lives and our comfort to extend His love to these two precious boys. We received pre-approval for Little Monkey, 8 days after our letter of intent"
For us it has been a whirlwind...as a physician who has cared for many children in the foster system, I originally thought years ago that this was where we would find our children, and maybe someday it will be! What a big change then to go to adopting internationally "one infant" to "hmm, make that two toddlers!"  However, for us this is the exact right place we need to be now, and we feel so honored and privileged to be pursuing adopting these amazing little boys! 
PS: What about those bloggy names??? Well, our dear nanny dubbed the 4 boys, and so far they have stuck...we will see as they grow!