because this is a moment to be thankful for

What is normal? I suppose it is what you become familiar with. It could be constant external upheaval and internal peace, or it could be external tranquility masking raging internal conflicts. No matter what the normal for a person may be, it is hard for an outsider to discern. I know our life doesn't look normal. I acknowledge this to myself when I feel left out,  noting the difficulty it must be  for others to relate, or quite honestly, knowing that is not unfair for others to intentionally try to avoid including us for the simple fact that our normal is straining and difficult for others to be around.  Sometimes though, even as dense as I am, I get a moment to realize that really this is a different life.  I am thankful for the difference, not because it makes me better than others, or wiser, but because I think without it, I would indeed be very dull toward the needs of others, or the normal but constant pressure the families of the "different" live.   Only those who live it understand that this is not a cliche: "they have taught me more than I have taught them, I needed them, not they me, and it is they who have saved me from myself"  So the cliche is based on profound truth.  Every day, this is true. Every day I am starkly reminded how self-centered I can be.
And so today, when I caught myself suddenly thinking "well, I guess it is a little different to have seven sons from three continents, this sudden binding of cultures and backgrounds and traumas and needs"  It seems so normal.  Or maybe normal is just not noticing that this is not the normal routine of life.  I don't think I know what normal is. I don't know or judge if it is good or bad. Normal or not is not a measure of holiness. It may be good. I think in many ways it is a conduit to great good. But, it is probably not my life. Or maybe it is.  I don't know. But I do know this. "this is a moment for which I am truly thankful" "I am thankful for my 7 sons. I am thankful for their bio families that I have been able to meet and the ones I never will meet, orphanage families, their cultures, their strengths and weaknesses, their humor, their quirks," "I am thankful for this messy, blended family," and frankly (and a bit tongue-in-cheek); moments where I say "I am thankful no one killed anyone today and we are all under one roof without the unspeakable anguish of a missing child at this moment."  You cannot harden yourself enough for the non-normal, you cannot be strong enough that "it won't affect me, I will be prepared." So in its place, every moment, instead, I have found that "because this is a moment to be thankful for" is a good replacement for normal.
Because this is a moment to be thankful for:
Our boys have been home for good for 8 weeks.  Oh what a moment to be thankful for!

update :)

Sorry for no posts in a long time.  Life has been busier than usual :) But we are all very excited around our home as K & V will be arriving, God willing, on Monday (!) for a summer hosting program!  We were so thankful that K in particular was able to get his visa as he just turned 17 yesterday -- getting to be such a big boy!~
Can't wait to see these two!

The boys will head back to Ukraine on August 30 as this is not part of the adoption, but is a pure hosting situation: nonetheless it is a great joy and delight to be together :)  

Paperwork for the adoption continues on, slow but steady. We hope our dossier will be done this summer. 

In preparation for summer we have gotten a much larger vehicle (15 passenger--ouch), ask me in person, but I used to vow I would never buy a vehicle this large! ("and it's crazy things that love will make you do...") and are trying to frantically finish up the boys new room. (yes, nesting happens even when you are expecting teens and tweens!) 

I've also accepted the medical directorship of a PCMH clinic which is fair commute away, and I and my staff are working like crazy to get everything ready for a AAAHC re-accreditation coming up. Whew!

Daniel has been under a lot rapid-fire deadlines and product issues all over the world. I am so grateful for his cheerful heart, his diligence and his calm personality even under so much pressure. He can come home after a crazy day in the office and start playing with the boys, and help me with dinner, adoption paperwork, and lend a supportive ear to my ravings about office re-credentialing stress, and then finish up coaching J through all his physical therapy excersizes. :) He is the best, you guys.

That's the update for now :) 

Must run.  Our hearts are full of expectant joy and longing waiting for our precious boys. We do truly do appreciate your prayers for wisdom and grace this summer as we love and parent all 7 boys.   

To wait

Waiting.
The pauses in life, that are often neither slow nor restful!
Often, I don't do well at waiting. I am an incredibly skilled and prolific fretter though! With K back safely in Ukraine, we still didn't have answers for what we should do, and frankly I was worried by every option I could see.  We were seeking advice, weighing pros and cons for and against adoption, visas; but how I missed my godly mother's wise and Biblical advice. A few trusted friends understood better where we were in our struggle, having passed through some of the fires of older child adoption, the financial struggles, the long term needs of children from hard places. Their words were and are valued treasures to us.  One beautiful silver-haired adoptive momma's words came at just this time, via an unexpected phone call. "Anastasia," she said, "I don't know your situation completely, but my advice to all women is, one, your husband is your head and you need to submit to him, you are not to nag him nor try to manipulate him. If you both fast and pray together, God will direct your paths, but if you try to run ahead or manipulate the situation, I cannot tell you how many homes and children that has damaged, how much trouble comes from this sort of disunity between husband and wife."
These words, I know, sound rather counter cultural. But they are sound in every way. In the adoption community of all backgrounds, a lack of unity between the parents is often noted to be one of the most destructive forces to the success of an adoptive placement. Unity is a primary and joyful  goal of Christian marriage. I often hear women refer to submission as a miserable thing they must do, and frankly in this attitude it seems like unity is the last thing that could describe their relationships.
Just hearing this wise woman talk about older child adoption, sibling groups, and some of the extremely difficult behaviors she has worked with over the last several decades, and the unity I know she and her husband have in these matters was such a refreshment to my soul.  "If your husband says 'I believe we should go forward' don't panic!" Oh, how I needed to hear the "don't panic!" 
So more than anything, I began to pray that Daniel and I would have a joyful, confident unity on the next step. We talked together and set times to pray and fast together.  Spending time separately in the Bible and then coming together in the evenings after work to discuss what we had meditated on that day, began to give us strong confidence to the next step.
Daniel came home one evening and said, "Sweetheart, I would like to know what you think, but as scary as it appears to us, I really believe we should begin the process to adopt both boys, what do you think?"
Oh, sweet unity.
Just that afternoon, after great struggle, during which I had adamantly told God "I love the boys, I do!, but I just CAN'T! and then in shame broke down: "Ok, obviously, I CAN'T.  But you can, and I believe you want me to be willing and all in."   The verses that had been saturating my mind were all the passages of "If anyone is not willing to take up his cross and follow Me, they cannot be my disciple"
So there we were: in total agreement, and it was a unity written by the God of peace
.

 
Now...

That would be a gorgeous place to leave this post. But, just because I am very, very human, when my phone gave a bing a few moments later, I reverted to anxiety, fretting and sobbing.
It was a message from Ukraine.  Not much context, but it stated that some of the adoption facilitators had met with K and somehow the topic of adoption had come up, and K had said that he loved our family very much, and was very happy with us, so much happier than he had ever thought he could be...but, he thought he would be better off in a family with teens, and please would we still be his friends and love him and not be mad, "please tell them I love them and I was so happy with them!"  Well of course we weren't angry, but I was in shock and brokenhearted. First, we had no intention of telling K yet as he has been hurt before, and we wanted to be farther along, so he could see we were serious and committed, and two, I was so sad he would be afraid we would be angry that he wanted to be in another family.  And I was brokenhearted that he couldn't be our son.
To me, it was  

THE . END . OF . THE . STORY . ALL . DONE . NO . MORE . PAGES . FINISHED . PERIOD.

Of course, God often puts opposites together for very, very good reasons.  Daniel stared at his sobbing wife, and said, "But, sweetheart, why are you sad? God is not done writing this story! I am not worried, precious!"

Well, wouldn't you know...

Less than 24hrs later, I got another message from Ukraine.  K had frantically called the facilitators back, after they had left his orphanage, saying he couldn't stop thinking about being a part of our family, and how happy he was with us, and please, please could he be allowed to reconsider?, and he hoped we would still want him and not be angry with him. Sweet teenager, we love you and we always will.  We know adoption is scary and everything tells you to say no. When you see an adopted child struggling, remember that they are incredibly brave to be willing to chance a new home, a new culture, and terrifying new relationship "Family."

Many weeks later, we found out that K was the one who asked if we would adopt him, and when he couldn't be given an answer(we hadn't told anyone yet our decision!), he felt scared and wanted to protect himself from further hurt, so it took great courage for him to call back and ask to be adopted, because at the time he really thought we didn't want to adopt him! Our brave, brave boy. We know you put your heart on the line in a very scary way. We know there will be many, many painful ups and downs before this story is written. I know I can't even imagine them now. I have no idea what the ending of this story will be. But together, we hold our Father's gentle and strong hand and we trust.

And we wait.

And we work, work, work while we wait.

What happened next...

<--K enjoying a chat with family :)

When Daniel and I agreed to the last-minute hosting, we agreed that it was a host-only situation, but as Daniel said "We do need to pray about and be open to bringing K on a student visa, since he is not adoptable, and we need to advocate for him to find a family who would be willing to bring him on a student visa, if God does not lead us to do that. But, we don't want to make any promises until we are sure that God desires us to do differently"  As we were getting to know this funny, sweet, opinionated, smart and precious teen, we were continuing to pray and research student visas, and both  just starting to lean toward the possibility of pursuing the student visa.  Now suddenly, the world was spinning under our feet. And, I do mean spinning. I literally felt dizzy most of that day.  Sometimes I still do! 

How amazing and unbelievable is our God?  To orchestrate the movements of two little boys who had lost each other, to pass through an airport on the exact same day, going in opposite directions, and then just a glimpse! Just a glimpse! Then a stray comment, a director who couldn't sleep....I still can't get over it. 

I love my God! He is great and mighty, yet tender and gentle.

But, we were pretty racked with the "what are we to do now?!?!?!"  So prayerfully, we began advocating for both boys.  We had received some information on V and I had a small snapshot K carried of V as well. I nearly cried when we sent out the first advocacy email.  I don't know, maybe I expected a flooded inbox of "me! me! me! I want to adopt them!"  Which would have been awesome, and hard all at once. I was struggling. Daniel, he is a pretty calm and steady man. ;)  He was convinced that God would answer our prayers, bring a family for K and V or clearly show us that we were their family and there was nothing to worry about.  Half of me was like "oh, please let it be us", Instantly followed by "no! for shame, Anastasia! There is no way that could work and anyway, I know God that you have a good plan, and I don't want to stand in the way of that, I really don't. I want your will. This is so scary and big, just even the thought! Please bring a family for these precious boys!" Daniel had to keep encouraging me to trust.  I am so thankful for my loving and patient husband. 

The week after Christmas, one of the boys had to have major surgery (an ongoing part of his medical needs). The car (which has never had trouble) broke down on the way to the surgery out of state the night before surgery and we had to get a rental car, frantically find a hotel, then K drove with me and little Lion late into the night to make it for the surgery on time, while Daniel stayed with the little boys at a hotel and waited for the car to get fixed.   Crazy! We were impressed with how 

well K handled this stressful situation, and I was thankful for his presence at the hospital to cheer up little Lion, who is very brave, but understandably hates surgery... (me too! sweet little boy!)

We continued to talk with P143, but could only tell them  "We are praying. Please advocate for the boys, we would rather our hearts be broken than theirs, we want them to have a good family and we don't have an answer yet, so we are praying, but don't want to hinder them getting a good family" 

Far too soon, the day came for us to drive K back to the airport.  That day, we also got news that as we feared, the surgeon had found a rare aggressive cancer during Little lion's surgery. Thankfully, the margins were clear, but it was hard to imagine what would have happened if there had been a delay for this surgery. I reminded myself, "There are no near misses with God" It was a very hard day.  The little guys couldn't believe K would really go. They had grown very fond of him. When it came time to say "Goodbye" they barreled so hard into him that they knocked him to the ground.  It was good to have a moment of laughter as we tried to keep a brave face.  K finally had to go, last of the orphans to leave, being gently herded a long by a chaperone. He kept turning to search for us and wave, and we peered through the crowds trying to get every glimpse we could.  When he was finally all the way through and we couldn't see him anymore, I felt like my heart had been ripped out of my body.  There was a lot of crying all the way home. In just a short time, he had become a part of our family. I was afraid there was no chance we would ever get to see him again. "Oh [me] of little faith"  I still don't know what will happen in the future, but Daniel is right, "God is not done writing this story!"  We had a long and good talk on the way home. 

Here are two pictures of the results of the multi-boy-tackle-hug! haha, I didn't have my camera out at first so didn't catch the pile of 4 boys all on top of poor K.  Thank God for moments of laughter!

The next morning, the little boys began asking "Is K coming back today?" "WHY NOT??!!?!" "Daddy and mommy need to get on a plane and go get him. You just tell them, he needs to come back here."  Hmmmph. Silly parents to think it is hard! 

The Christmas Eve Miracle

Sometimes He comes, moving softly, and rearranges our lives without our noticing.  The view has changed, but not so much that we notice. Then, after a few moment, the light is now in view. The perspective has completely changed. But not always. Sometimes He moves so quickly, we are left blinking in the radiance, and clinging onto porch railings!

The days leading up to Christmas were busy. With all the family in town, one of my brothers had graciously rented one of those mega-uber-huge-dwellings that pass in our part of the country under the humble moniker of "cabin"
Sweet K shyly hung out on the fringes, but was willing to be pulled into the circle of love and laughter.  Kids ran about shrieking with delight and trying to peak into presents clustered around the towering Christmas tree.  The mists clung over the mountains and soft dew sprinkled your face when you stepped outside.
Chores and errands still needed to be run, feasts cooked and schedules arranged as the plan was to celebrate on Christmas Eve when the largest contingent of family would be present.  And in the midst of the busyness, a single offhand comment changed our lives forever.
When the children come to the US on the hosting program, many rules surround their stay for their comfort and safety. Among these is the necessary contact with orphanage chaperones who travel with the children and stay stateside. K's assigned chaperone was a cheery young woman who understood and loved the kids in her care.  I often enjoyed chatting with her when I had K call in for his check-ins, and she would fill me in on anything K was too embarrassed to tell me :)
A few days before Christmas we were chatting by text, and she asked how K was treating the younger kids.  I responded that he was remarkably kind and patient with them, and they really liked him! She responded that she was not surprised, after all, he had a younger brother of whom he was very fond. "Yes," I responded, "Yes, he talks about V every day, many times. Sometimes he is very sad when he talks about V "  The chaperone responded with "They are in dif. Orphanages" I was surprised by this statement as I had heard that V was no longer in the orphanage system and had been taken into foster care.  (different than the US, foster care legally separates siblings) So cautiously, as I knew there was a language barrier, I asked "Yes, I head V was in foster care and he couldn't see him anymore, is that right?" "No," She texted. "They are in different orphanages and far from each other"
I was startled, but knew that if this were true it could mean the difference between K having a chance at a family vs never having a family.  Still, I was puzzled. We had asked so many people about V and the foster system, and everyone had seemed sure about his status.  I decided to send a quick note to one of those working with the orphans to see if I could get clarification.  I got no reply and assumed that it was a case of misunderstandings. Honestly, there are thousands of orphans.  It would be understandable to get sibling pairs confused.
Christmas eve, I was busy in the kitchen when my husband came downstairs and handed me his phone, "It's [p143 worker]" he said, "she says she has been trying to reach you all morning and it's very urgent."  I stepped out onto the porch for privacy. I could hear a tremble in the voice on the other end of the line. "I just had to call you right away, you are never going to believe this, my goodness, I don't believe it myself!!"
She shared with me that after receiving my query about V's whereabouts, she had dismissed it as likely a confusion, as she had personally verified last summer that V was taken into foster care. She had spoken with the orphanage director! It had to be a mistake. That night she was unable to sleep. "I felt like the Lord wanted me to check one more time" So the next morning, she reached out to her contacts in Ukraine: facilitators, adoption lawyers, orphanage directors.  She believed that the story she heard was nothing short of miraculous.  "Unfortunately, many people view fostering as a meal ticket" she explained. Shortcomings in the system made oversight and protection difficult, and kids once in the system were "gone forever."  In V's case, he had indeed been chosen for foster care, and the family had arrived to take him.  Yet, apparently after signing papers....they left....and never returned! "The director said he has never seen this happen! He didn't know what to do, so they transferred V to another orphanage very far from there, and nobody knew!" "Oh, and get this, he's actually in Italy being hosted by another family there. But I've reached that hosting organization, and they say that the Italian family is a host-only family, they are not planning to adopt, so you realize this means that K&V can actually have a chance at a family!"  I felt as if the world was spinning under my feet.  Of course, P143 wanted to know if we wanted to pursue adoption.  "We have got to pray, I mean, yes, if you have a family for them, then by all means go ahead, please advocate, advocate for the boys, but we need time to pray!" "No, we have advocated and no family except you have come forward, so you take your time and pray about it!" I literally was holding onto the porch railing to keep my balance. I was thrilled for K &V, awed that God had heard our prayers that V would be found, and wondering what on earth we were supposed to do. I was sure that adoption was impossible, but of course we would pray about it.
Later that evening, K and I were talking about it (via google translate!) "I thought he was gone, but he is not because I saw him at the front of the plane" "What do you mean?" I asked. "He was at the front of the airplane near the nose! In Kiev, I do not know why, he was there, and I saw him, far, far away"  After a lot of discussion it turned out that indeed, K was the one who spotted V on his way to Italy, he told his chaperone and the world started turning...
So a lonely big brother spotted a tiny boy, too far away to say anything and knew his brother and God brought all the pieces together!

"Behold, the LORD's hand is not shortened, that it cannot save;

 neither His ear heavy, that it cannot hear..."

When you are too busy, Part 3

We had heard that K had a prospective family, but then news came that it might not work out.  I remember feeling sick for him.  In the past 6 months, he had gotten to be reunited with his baby brother (after 18 months of unexpected separation) and met a host family who promised to adopt him. After more than 10 years in an orphanage, he thought he would finally have a forever family and no one would ever threaten again to separate him and his brother. Then, when his hopes were highest, his younger brother was removed, apparently into an unknown foster situation and a few months later, the  host family had changed their mind and no longer wanted to adopt him. He was crushed. Now Christmas was coming, and no one had chosen him. Was another family going to say no? 

Daniel and I prayed a lot and discussed the situation.  I was scheduled to have a somewhat risky-for-me procedure on Dec 18.  Daniel said "If the advocate calls back and K still needs a family, we can't say yes unless he is arriving after that date" We waited and prayed, and tried to figure out how we could even afford the hosting. Two adoptions, a baby, and lots of medical bills (our adopted boys have significant medical needs) had. added. up.
Designated "X" money was half ;) 

Then we got the call back.  "Unfortunately, the prospective family who promised to adopt K has decided that they cannot take him, and don't want to host him.  Every other family who has approached us has backed out when they heard (his situation), are you all still interested in hosting him for this Christmas?"  Be still my heart!  "Can you tell me what date he would be arriving?"  

"December 19th"  

YES!!!

And so K came for Christmas.  What an incredible privilege! He is precious and funny, shy and smart, fashion conscious ;) ,  kind and patient with the little guys. He even was willing to put up with being dropped into our  week long massive family gathering, though I think he about fell over when I told him I have 12 brothers and sisters...and most of them would be there with spouses, kids and friends!  He shared with us how much he missed his little brother, V. We began researching the possibility of bringing him to the US on a student visa, since without his younger brother he was unadoptable by US law. But as Daniel likes to say "God is not done writing this story" God had a surprise for us on Christmas Eve...

When you are too busy Part 2

Heading to the parade, my DH drove as usual, and I read to him the profile.  We were very familiar with the hosting organization, it was something of a sister organization to the agency we adopted both of our boys from China through, CCAI.  The host organization Project 143 had been around only 5 years, but had already hosted over 1000 kids to the US. Familiar, yes, but in a "What an awesome idea...for somebody else" way. You know?
But this teen's picture, spread all over facebook, had grabbed us. "This," said Daniel, "This is important, eternally important: we want to have God's perspective here. If we are told to love 'the Least of these my bretheren', well...but you know Anastasia, this is going to be hard, and by the way, if we do this, we can't do X"  "I know, Sweetie, but like you said, what is more important here?"  "I agree" he said, firmly.
 "X"?
Oddly enough, the next morning, we were planning to go purchase a rather large purchase "X" of something D and I had been wanting to get for our family for years.  We had tried for two weeks to meet up with the craigslist seller and always some odd reason came up and it had fallen through.  But tomorrow, we had a set time and no reason for it not to work, the money in cash was actually in our glove box...(yeah, I know, sorry it's not there anymore...)
We were in the mountains, with poor signal, but Daniel asked me to call the number and see the time-frame (arrival, length of stay) and cost and when a decision would have to be made. (Guys, we don't ever purposely rush into decisions.....)  I reached the P143 advocate, and after multiple crossed wires and no signal, we finally got to talk.  "Oh!" she said, "I so appreciate you calling, but actually, its totally a miracle, I just got off the phone with a family who had their papers filed before K's 16th birthday, and they have promised to host him and they are going to go back to Ukraine in the spring and adopt him! It is absolutely a miracle! We never find a paper-ready family when a child is already past 16!" She proceeded to tell me that K had a prior family promise to adopt but after he turned 16 they changed their minds and then it was too late for anyone to file papers. "He has a younger brother, you see, but his younger brother has been taken into the foster system, and that means he is legally separated from his brother for life and by US law, he can't be adopted without his younger brother if he is over 16, so really without a family who had filed before his birthday, he has no chance of ever getting a family at this point!"  I was thrilled for K when I heard it, but a funny little pang went through us, but truly we were glad! "We do have two other teens though who don't have a home for Christmas too, can I tell you about them?" "Yes, we would be glad to hear about them!"  She told us about the other two, both 16 and "unadoptable." One was a girl with a lot of similar interests.  D and I told her we would pray about it and let her know in the morning (There wasn't a lot of time! when I asked her when the deadline was, she laughed and said "it was last month, but we just couldn't bear to leave these 3 kids behind, so we've been pleading for a month!")
The next morning, we had agreed that we should say "Yes" to the teen girl (all you people rooting for us to get a girl, you would have been so proud!) So, I called the advocate back.  "Actually, we have  family for her now! But, there may be an issue with K's family, I am not sure, so can I call you back when I find out for sure?"  A couple days passed, we prayed that God would give K a good, loving, faithful, unconditional family.  I didn't pray it would be us, I wanted to (yeah, trying to be honest) but I felt deep peace to just say "Please Father, bless this precious boy with a family to call his own! May they love You, and be totally committed to him!"

The story continues: Part 3

When you are too busy for anything else...

God says,

"I've  got a better idea..."

December 2014 looked busy.  I had a surgical procedure scheduled for me, zillions of specialist appointments for the boys and major surgery #3 for Little Lion. Add nearly 30 relatives coming to town for Christmas, our first Christmas since our mom's death, job changes, significant travel and the usual holiday busyness.  We had five boys, 4, 3, 3, 3, and 1.  

Then, one day, I popped on my personal facebook account. I get on maybe every couple months...A picture and a frantic plea caught my eye and grabbed my heart.  A teen needed a host home for Christmas. He would be arriving in less than 2 weeks and out of hundreds of hosted kids, no family had chosen him yet.  I shared. (I never share, like never, but I had to do something!) A day or two passed and I saw his picture being shared, with no results yet.  When Daniel came home that night, we were busy frantically bundling the kids up to take them to holiday parade.  Carrying kids down the stairs, I suddenly glanced up at my husband and without hardly thinking said "what would you think of hosting a Ukrainian teen orphan boy for Christmas, huh?" I was only kidding, I mean half kidding. ;) After all, I'm  the one who is always saying "Hey, I heard about this child and we could...."  and Daniel is our family's sensible brakes....  But he stopped and said immediately, "Oh? I'd  like to hear about that, show me his picture and maybe you can read to me about it while we drive, we should really talk about that..."

I was so surprised.  But bigger surprises were coming...

Click here for part 2

http://www.youcaring.com/adoption-fundraiser/help-write-chapter-1-of-a-forever-family-for-kolya-vova-/307728

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Picture day, shopping and we get those all important brown envelopes!

This morning we got the little guys all dressed up and had the traditional pictures taken.  Yes, last night, poor little Xiu injured a finger in the sliding bathroom door, so he is all bandaged up...but not slowed down one bit. :)  So there we are with our doubled family :)  All four guys were on the go in the lobby racing back and forth, trying to sneak onto the escalators (the bell boys were chasing them along with us) and generally have a jolly good time, so this is a remarkable split second in time in which they are not moving...that much, sorry that we all seem to be looking at different cameras :)
Here is our group, with all our new children!

And here is one of us and my father

An attempt at "the babies and not so babies shot" ahem...(has there ever really been a successful shot??)

Two babies are missing from this picture, and maybe you can just see the fingers of some parents trying to hold some of the little ones from behind... :)
You all must be praying, for my hip (which never just gets better on its own) is doing so, so much better in the past 24hrs or so! So much so that I had the fun of going out shopping in some tiny local shops with Kiki.  She is becoming a top notch bargainer, and we got some great deals :)
Then in the afternoon, the all-important sealed brown envelopes arrived from the consulate!  HOORAY!  Some families left today, some are leaving tomorrow, and we are leaving in 2 days approximately. :)

Consulate Appointment and shall I try delicious England?

We had our consulate appointment this morning.  It went very well, no problems at all, and much to my surprise I got all teary-eyed over the immigration oath, "I affirm that I have told the truth on all documents related to this adoption..."  It brought back such a flood of memories of the hard work that has already gone into this adoption, and I am so, so thankful to be at this point.  Which, to be specific, is tired enough to be trying to order Papa John's pizza in China.  Yes, yes, I know, I blush to even admit it, and I am NOT tired of Chinese food at all! I am just tired of walking, and I don't speak any Cantonese, remember, so I can't order from the local restaurants by phone, but rumor has it that Papa's will understand English or Mandarin or some combo of the above!  So I went on this afternoon to look at what was available and read about this mouth watering delicacy...what do you think?   Shall I order it for my hapless  happy family?

British bacon

Salad dressing distinctive vanilla base, without any set off the already outstanding temperament. To nutritious, taste excellent bacon as the protagonist, the capsules tender chicken mosaic, to be the new cool juicy tomatoes and yellow onions dancing, delicious England this bloom.

Ah, England in a bloom of Vanilla salad dressing!  Oh to be in Kew!  bahahahahah...  I think my family might not want that.  I wish you could see them now, though! (Umm, Anastasia, that is what cameras are for...) No, seriously, they are up playing on the playground in the hotel (LOVE IT!) and so, so happy.  Jian's favorite new trick is to try to "tackle" daddy. (this little guy is built like a linebacker!) He charges, laughing out loud, pushes his head between daddy's knees and then throwing both shoulders into it tries to back daddy into a corner, all the while wildly giggling.  Daddy, of course, plays along very dramatically.  Xiu goes up and down the slide, face alight, shrieks of delight.  E runs around a mass of golden curls (poor boy, he needed a haircut before China, now he REALLY does)  D is "flying" in a swing, and Xiu has been helping push him between slide runs.
Okay, I had better order something from Papa's or the bloom may leave England before I can capture it ;)

In which we tour medical facilities in Guangzhou...

As far as official tours of China go, I have pretty much missed them all: Tian'anmen Square, Forbidden City, Hutongs, Liuhua Lake park, Great Wall, Zhengzhou East, Shamian Island, Pearl market etc, etc, etc...
However, I have had the privilege of getting to tour medical facilities in Beijing, Zhengzhou, and now Guangzhou (and no I am not talking about the infamous medical exam day for the adoptees ;) ha!)
The latest escapade happened a couple days ago (I am sorry I am such a terrible blogger)
E, D and Jian Hou all were running fevers for the past week, but while D and J cleared after 3-4 days (or at least seemed to be on the upswing) poor little E just kept getting worse.  So, one morning while Kiki and Grandpa were off to see Shamian Island, Daniel got in contact with our insurance company (thankfully, Daniel's company provides fantastic worldwide medical coverage as standard policy due to all the travel the employees do) and found a clinic for the little fellow and got an appt.  No one was feeling very well, so I left the 3 other boys with Daniel, strapped on E and hobbled out to get a taxi.  By this point, I was having trouble moving my left leg and my right SI was going out too. To add to the fun, I had picked up some sort of virus that made me feel like I had been clobbered with a 2x4 all over and was enjoying stabbing migratory arthralgias.   (just to add to the soap opera level y'all!)  Still, despite me speaking no Cantonese, and the driver speaking barely any Mandarin, we arrived safe and sound at the correct address.  It was actually a fun taxi ride and E and I both enjoyed it I think, because of course when we did arrive, his fever had broken, he was alert and excited, and basically acting normal. Of course ;)  (all mom's know how that is!)
For families traveling to the province, I chose to go to the United Family Clinic (a large Western clinic and hospital system across China).  Our insurance would cover all the international clinics in G, but I knew United (I have actually jokingly discussed taking a job with them in China, if Daniel's company were to relocate us to one of their China offices)  It was definitely as good as I expected it to be, very top notch, professional, kind and for families who are not into international style medical care, it is exactly like any well run clinic in the USA.  (all English speaking, of course, JC certified, etc)
Maybe I am crazy, but I am so glad I have gotten to see at least a few medical facilities in China, though I wish it had not been necessary.  There is a definite collegiality between medical professionals, and I have so enjoyed getting to meet Chinese colleagues here and talking with them.  It is like being part of a family, and I have had the privilege in many other places to meet other doctors, so as odd as it may sound, I really enjoyed getting to know a few here too.
E is doing better, still trying to recover, but definitely improving.  We all have coughs, but the noses are not running quite so freely, though several of us are having GI troubles still. I don't believe this is from something we ate, but one of our dear new son's came with a GI bug and the symptoms started after that in the others and match.
Quick note on the official medical exams for other APs:  The new clinic which is not on Shamian is just as nice as the guides tell you---clean, spacious, air conditioned.  For our group it really wasn't too crowded.  The medical exam stations are exactly like every adoptive mom has ever described before down to the very same squeaky toys.  Our boys hated the day with a passion, and that is an understatement. We survived.  I am thankful.
Today was D's third birthday, and we decided to go with the group to the Chimelong Safari Park, because he really likes animals and Daniel was hoping it would be less walking for me than the zoo. It is really nice, far too huge to see in one day, but we had fun and got to see all the pandas. :) There are no pandas at the zoo right now as they have been returned to their native Sichuan province to try to help with a pregnancy.   The hotel provided a complimentary cake for D for his birthday, complete with candles.  D was super excited and thrilled!  He was also very proud of the birthday card they gave him, and his new back pack from us and a flashlight from grandpa.  It is such a delight to see the joy on a little child's face for such simple things.  He spent the evening checking over and over that his flashlight was in his backpack (a lion or tiger thing, mommy is not quite sure what it is supposed to be) and then zipping it back up.   Now he is sleeping with it :)
Xiu Hui, E and D all enjoyed the safari, Jian Hou not so much.  We are finding out that he is very afraid of most animals, birds and fish.  But finally, he did smile at the sight of a momma and baby elephant :)
Tomorrow morning is our consulate appointment.  Due to the recent threat on the consulate, the security has heightened significantly, so our guide informed us tonight that if we bring anything: diapers,  baby snacks etc, they have to be in a clear plastic bag. The only other thing we may bring is the paperwork and our passports.  Tonight, I jury rigged  a gallon ziplock bag into a diaper bag by making it a tape handle. :)  We plan (as we did on the medical exam day) to leave the two blonde boys "home" with Kiki and Grandpa.  It sounds like with the new procedures, it would be quite a bit too stressful for them and us to have to come along.  We are so thankful for our help!
Oh, and happy father's day!  I am certainly blessed to be married to Daniel.  He is such an amazing father to these four boys.  Believe me, 4 sick toddlers, two of whom are recently adopted from different backgrounds, in a foreign country, in a hotel room, with a sick, crippled mom is as crazy as it sounds.  Actually, it is crazier and more hectic than it sounds...and Daniel has done such an amazing job of taking care of all of us.  Xiu occasionally has bad night terrors, and it is "Baba" who holds him for hours and cuddles him till he is calm again. He often carries two boys at once and pushes a stroller, and carries the backpack and handles the money. He breaks up the fights and kisses the bumped heads.  He changes the endless diapers (recall, GI bug in house) He is the best of the best.  I pray that God will bless him today and always.

Thoughts from Guangzhou

My little ones are finally asleep.  We are so grateful to be safely arrived in Guangzhou.  We will be here for 10 days, and it is a relief to be able to settle in a bit.  3 of my 4 little guys are now running pretty good fevers. Sad, but not unexpected.  E was sick when we arrived, and then both Xiu and Jian had their own coughs, and runny noses and what not, so I figured it was just a matter of time before the germ spreading began.  Still, I am praying for the Lord to have mercy on my precious babies.  It is hard to see them sick and trying to comfort them all--- well my lap is stretching.  But still, I have so, so much to be grateful for...I get to hold my babies.
On the way to the care home where little Jian was so loved, I was riding with my husband and the two new little ones with Clay, the director of the home.  I had not been on the internet at all, (very poor internet in the hotel, they were doing construction) and Clay turned around to me and sad, "I want to warn you that the nannys may be sad, because Zoe passed away yesterday--just a few hours ago actually"  My heart broke, the tears poured down my face.  We cried all the way to the home.  Zoe was a precious little girl who grew up with my Jian, and whose family gave everything they had to get her home less than 3 months ago.  I have been following their journey through open heart surgeries with growing agony.  As a doctor, sometimes reading special needs adoption blogs is heart wrenching, because you dread, dread and wince at each complication, and you find yourself heartsick and holding your breath practically.  They prayed and gave her love and home- 200%, no holding back, we prayed, they and her doctors gave everything they had,  but during her last procedure she went to home to the Jesus she loved to sing about. My heart is broken for this family.  Please keep Pastor Carr, Eva and all their kids in your prayers.
So, if it seems to you that our adoption trip sounds rough health-wise, please see how blessed, richly blessed we are!  I get to hear my son's laughter (yes, all four bubble with laughter), I get to watch them chase each other up and down, and pick them up when they come running to me with arms upraised. I get to tell them "No" when they fight, I get to snuggle them when they cry.  I get to give them medicine when their fever is high, and mix up pedialyte to keep them hydrated.  Wow, I am one rich, rich mommy.
And now, since I too am sick :) Daniel has said it is high time for me to get tucked in...please pray for him as he cares for us all.
Blessed,
Anastasia
 

Frantically Posting #2

Here are some more pictures.

All the boys enjoying a snack in Zhengzhou.

The guys hanging out in the garden.

Eating at a famous noodle restaurant in Xiu Hui's home town of Nanyang on the day we went for his Chinese passport.

Xiu Hui fancies himself as a real chef. He took great pains picking out the dinner and then carefully mixed it all together (noodles, water, beans, etc.).

Jian Hou chilling in the bamboo garden.

Jian Hou with his buddies from his group home. It is so obvious that he was happy and loved there.

That's all for now. --  Daniel

Frantically posting pictures while we can

We are in Ghuangzhou now. Our Internet connection is better and the boys are sleeping so I (Daniel) am going to try and throw out some quick photos for you all.

Some of our boys enjoying our new room.

Jian Hou really likes his new sippy cup

It is really fun to shake wildly because it sprays water out.

Xiu Hui doesn't like the camera so it is really hard to capture a smile, but he was having fun this morning.

And we were able to grab a smile.

We had the tremendous privilege to visit the group home where Jian Hou was raised. It was really good for us as well as Jian. Here he is joining in with his house mates for one last snack time.

We will try to post more when we can. Thank you so much for your prayers! We really need them!

Daniel

"Hey, Look! They are alive!"

Yes, we are very much alive.  We have been having a lot of technical
problems and non working internet, not to mention sick children,
adoption etc.  Every time I have had  a chance to blog, (read 3 AM) I
can't get on the computer, as it is set up Daniel style. (black screen
with white characters waiting for command prompts...

But this morning, Daniel kindly set it up for me at 3:30 as I couldn't
sleep due to a dislocated SI, and now 2 hours later having completely
lost all that I typed, here we are again :)

So long story short :)

Beijing: Sick E, happy D, worried me, worried Daniel. The group toured
Beijing, we toured the hospital.  End of matter: E much better, mommy
and daddy now extremely sleep deprived.

Train:  Loved it, loved it, loved it!  Very doable.  Had unexpected
help, which was a blessing, see "sleep deprived"

Zhengzhou:  I make a taxi driver mad, and poor Grandpa and Kiki have
to bear it. We survive my butchered Mandarin and end up eating well!
Surprise!. We survive scooter mania and spend our very last night as a
family of four.

Gotcha Day:  Our boys come to us 3 hours apart. So thankful, so hard,
so blessed.  They have been very well loved, and they grieved
extremely hard.  However, hours later when we get back to the hotel
room, tiny bits of personality show through.  So precious, so smart,
so handsome!  We are in love :)  Jian glues to Mama, Xiu glues to his
Baba.  D and E do an amazing job, being kind, calm, and trying to be
friendly to Jian and Xiu.  They have taken their two new brothers so
far very much in stride, and are really, really enjoying the family
increase! I know it won't be pure filial bliss from this day forward,
but Daniel and I are so thankful for this answer to prayer.  We are
startled and  touched to  find that Jian and Xiu's dearest treasures
are photo albums of the family we sent them. They recognize us, (does
not make the grief any less of course) and know the albums by heart.
Jian shocks Mama by speaking full English sentences.  (In the Civil
affairs office, while weeping his heart out, he looked me straight in
the face and sobbed: "I want to go outside"
What?  Yes, he actually does know some basic English phrases.  Xiu is
the last child to arrive. He too grieved very hard, but he was so
very, very brave.  It is very apparent, that while both were loved,
their childhoods so far have been night and day. Xiu is old for his
age, both though are developmentally much farther along than I
expected.  Still both need very tender care and lots and lots of
cuddles.

Xiu loves to sing, in the sweetest little voice, Jian is hoarse with a
sore throat right now but he loves to sing too, he is a camera ham and
a charmer, while Xiu cries at the sight of cameras, but isn't afraid
anything else as long as his Baba is holding him :)

I must run, the gang of four is awake :) The adoption is finalized,
they are ours, we are so thankful!
Today we hope to see the Swallow's nest. Yesterday we spent the day in Nanyang.

Lovely Korean Air and a rough night

Another quickie post from my phone as I stand in boarding line to China. Korean air absolutely lived up to their excellent reputation. I will try to post about it for the Henan moms later. My poor littlest had a very rough night on the plane, thankfully he is a little better this AM. Still quite ill but lungs clear and 02 sats improved so I'm holding off on abx for now. His fever broke this AM. Please keep him and his exhausted parents :)

And we're off!

I apologize to start with. I am posting this from my iPhone so it will have to be short. :) We are at the ATL airport waiting to board our flight to Seoul. The boys are super excited about the planes, the people, the shiny lights and most of all ... The automated trash can.  Ha. Shall we just say hand washing is in their future? Yes, I know what sort of mom lets her kids play with a trash can? Hey, they are happy and staying near me. That is good ;). We started this trip in a Mr Bean Holiday way. For example, Thursday night the littlest was up with a fever and I didn't get him rocked back off to sleep till 5 AM. So I when I was startled await by an early morning phone call, I started up staggered wildly to the phone not even sure what the noise was and managed to knock an oil painting off the wall onto my head, knocking it out of its frame. So there I am standing they with a frame around my shoulders babbling into the phone to the hapless caller "it is a painting! The frame? In the sink oh no stop the painting!" I frantically held into the painting whilst the caller (after a puzzled silence) informed me about a flight. Somehow I made it back to the bed still with the frame and painting and woke up my husband so I could babble incoherently about it again. And them I woke up and we had a good laugh! Unlike the paintings whose ill fate it is to be on the same continent as the laudable Bean, our painting was fine. When I was awake enough, I reframed it :). We started by going to ATL yesterday and had an absolutely lovely evening with my sister Amana and Nirmal. This morning has been fairly uneventful, minus one bonked head when the oldest tried to jump down from his seat at the breakfast table, wrong tickets for my dad, and a very sick little E (please pray for this flight he has a fever and a very sore throat and runny nose--poor baby!) and a few temper tantrums on the security line. Thankfully security did everything they could to help us so it wasn't that bad.
When we went to check in online, we found to our delight that Korean had assigned us all seats together in the bulkhead center. Very kind and thoughtful. I am sure the extra space and double escape aisles will be a blessing with our almost 3 year old and our 19 month old.  Kiki (our nanny) is being a fantastic help and so is my dad though he never misses an opportunity for any corny jokes. ;) I may try to post more later but this phone is a slow way to go. We appreciate your prayers! I don't know if reality has set in for me yet, I've been so busy, but sometimes today I have teared up knowing that finally, finally we are on our way to precious Xiu and Jian.

Only one more night in our own beds...

...for a long while! I shouldn't probably even be posting, but needed to take a breather from cleaning and packing :)  We recently moved to the South, so I know it is crucial to have the house as spotless as possible before going on a long trip: new, old, brick, or wood, you always have to be alert for the insects that thrive in this climate, and no way am I leaving a "happy place" for them! Thankfully we have never had any problems in this home, but I am not taking any risks! :)
The last few days have been fun, crazy and I can't seem to keep my mind functioning at all.  I walk somewhere, and wonder why? I tell, Daniel "Oh yes, we packed that .... I think...but I have no idea where" 
I have tried to minimize our luggage. For our family of 4 becoming 6 for 21 days we are down to two medium suitcases around 35lbs each, two small to medium dufflebags, two very small to small backpacks and my oldest's beloved "Trunki"  (a tiny Melissa and Doug child's travel case that doubles as a ride on toy) 
It doesn't sound terrible, but I am still trying to pare down...the train trip from Beijing to Zhengzhou is entirely on our own and I know as much as I need those two suitcases, I am probably going to hate them! :)  I am no fan of lots of luggage, especially when I know we will be pushing through large crowds going up and down staircases and having to jam them in overhead luggage racks and then repeat. So, I am going to try to attack the luggage one more time.
Yesterday, the boys and I had the fun of setting up "beds" for the two newest little ones.  Yes, we plan to have them sleep in our room as we want to be quickly available for comfort and security, so that is two pack and plays we have crammed in there, plus a chair for mommy or daddy to sit in at 2AM... real furniture just wasn't going to fit!

We know that in the care home where our little Jian has been living a Nanny has always stayed in the sleeping room with all the children, and it appears that our little Xiu has shared a common room with his foster family in their village.  To us, even though they are two years old, they are our "new babies" and like "new babies" we want them to learn that they can trust their parents, that their parents are there for them and ready to comfort them.  My mother always said, "when you comfort your child and hurry to care for them, you are teaching them what God our father is like--He is tender and kind to us in our weakness, and loving."

Like as a father pitieth [his] children, [so] the LORD pitieth them that fear him.--Ps 103:13

As we head out on this life-changing journey, I am so thankful for our tender, kind, loving Father!  He knows we cannot do this on our own, He knows and understands our fears, and cares about our griefs and joys.  "I have not given you the spirit of fear," He says, "but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind"
We are so grateful to all those who have prayed for us, taught us and given to help us be here today.  You are all loved.  We feel your support and thank God for you.  We are so grateful for the amazing, very human, very real adoptive families we have been privileged to meet (some only online), thank you for your encouragement and all you have taught us.  It is hard to comprehend that in less than a week, our so very beloved Xiu and Jian will become part of our family forever.

Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father!

There is no shadow of turning with Thee!

Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not!

As Thou has been, Thou forever wilt be.

You're rich in love, and You're slow to anger
Your name is great, and Your heart is kind
For all Your goodness I will keep on singing
Ten thousand reasons for my heart to find

[Chorus]
Bless the Lord, O my soul
O my soul
Worship His holy name
Sing like never before
O my soul
I'll worship Your holy name

And on that day when my strength is failing
The end draws near and my time has come
Still my soul will sing Your praise unending
Ten thousand years and then forevermore

[Chorus x2]
Bless the Lord, O my soul
O my soul
Worship His holy name
Sing like never before
O my soul
I'll worship Your holy name

M. Redman

Tentative Timeline for China :)

June 1--Leave for Atlanta
June 2--Fly from ATL to INC (Seoul, South Korea)

June 3--Arrive in Beijing (we "lose a day" going and "gain one" returning, due to the 12 hour time difference :)

June 4-- Likely do a little touring to help the little guys reset their body clocks

June 5--Take the High speed train from Beijing to Zhengzhou

AND THEN....GET READY FOR IT!!!

JUNE 6--GOTCHA DAY!!!! (BOTH BOYS!)

June 7--Adoption Registration Day, try to get Jian's passport--This is the day the adoption becomes official!
June 8--Travel to Nanyang, Henan to get Xiu's passport

June 17--Consulate appointment in Guangzhou, Guangdong

June 18--US Visa's

June 20--Leave Guangzhou, fly to Seoul and then to Atlanta

June 21--HOME AGAIN, GOD WILLING :)

Now, I need to get back to packing, pronto, pronto!!

TA!

For those of you on Facebook, you know our good news already! We got our TA on Wednesday...a record setting wait of 4 weeks and 1 day by our count, but technically we found out 4 weeks and 2 days...
The last week has been difficult.  Our agency, CCAI, told us that they had never had a family go past 4 weeks, and in fact we later found out that apparently no one has ever gotten past 27 days.  For non-adopters, this may sound like no big deal. But when you know there have been over 10,000 adoptions with this agency before you, same government, same system, same rules, and the average wait for TA is normallyl 10-14 days the anguish starts to set in.  "Are we losing the adoption? Has something happened here at the very, very end?" 
I made myself wait past 4 weeks and finally called our agency, trying not to cry.  "Do any families not ever get the TA? Do adoptions fall through at this point? Do we need to refile paperwork?"  The rep was super kind.  She told me that we had set a record for waiting and they were very sorry but it appeared to be due to the incredible changes happening at the CCWA as they switch from paper to electronic records.  She said "I know this isn't much, but our reps in China think that there is a packet of TAs coming soon...and we hope yours in there!"  Most of all she assured me that no one doesn't get a TA.  That was so comforting.  Even if the wait was long, if there is hope of completing the adoption at the end, we can endure, but as I was losing hope it was so hard to press on.  I hung up full of hope and very encouraged.  In fact, I stopped my obsessive 2 minute refreshing of my phone's email app that I had been doing for the past 3 weeks.  I played and snuggled with my littlest who had woken early from his nap, and it wasn't till an hour or two later that I noted that there was a new email--WE HAD A TA!!! I stopped and had a cry and thanked God.  Since then we have been madly working to find flights for 6 going and 8 coming.  More about that later, we still don't have tickets...white knuckled suspense on this end.  Oh! Yes, we got our confirmed CA Thursday AM and I will post those dates as soon as we have confirmed flights, God willing!  Pray we get the flights today, please.